What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
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