What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
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