How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
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