Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
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