Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
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