What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Go to BabaMail
