What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
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