How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
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