When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
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