What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
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