Join us for plenty of play action.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
By the seat of one’s punt
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Calm before the score
Case in punt
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
We’re calling your number.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
All punts are highly intended
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
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