Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
The huddle is real
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
The goal nine yards
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I like your tight end
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Calm before the score
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Give me some pigskin
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends