Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
By the seat of one’s punt
Having a ball
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
The calm before the score
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I made a snap decision to watch football today
We’ll have a ball.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I feel tail great!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Football is one habit I will never kick
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Calm before the score
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
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