I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
The goal nine yards
I like your tight end
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.