[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
We’re calling your number.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Having a ball
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Prepare to be bowled over.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Give me some pigskin
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
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