What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Calm before the score
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Case in punt
The goal nine yards
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
All punts are highly intended
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Join us for plenty of play action.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
We’ll have a ball.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
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