How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Case in punt
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I feel tail great!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Calm before the score
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Prepare to be bowled over.
All punts are highly intended
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
We’ll have a ball.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Football is one habit I will never kick
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Give me some pigskin
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