Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
By the seat of one’s punt
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
We’re calling your number.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
The calm before the score
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
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