Case in punt
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Join us for plenty of play action.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Calm before the score
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Having a ball
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The huddle is real
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
We’re calling your number.
We’ll have a ball.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
The goal nine yards
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I feel tail great!
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
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