I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
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