I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
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