What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
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