My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
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