What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
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