What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
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