Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
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