Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
The superconductor left without resistance.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
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