What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Go to BabaMail
