What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
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