What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
The superconductor left without resistance.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
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