My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
The superconductor left without resistance.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
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