Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
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