What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
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