How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
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