Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
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