Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
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