Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
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