Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
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