I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
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