What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Go to BabaMail
