Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
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