Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
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