Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
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