Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
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