Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Go to BabaMail
