Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
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