The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Go to BabaMail
