Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Go to BabaMail
