What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
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