*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Go to BabaMail
