Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
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