Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
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