My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
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