Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.