My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
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