Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
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