What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Go to BabaMail
