Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
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