Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Go to BabaMail
