What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
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