Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
The superconductor left without resistance.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
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