What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Go to BabaMail
